Sunday, June 16, 2013












I'VE BEEN THINKING A LOT ABOUT MY IMPACT. On the world, on the people I love, on the people I decidedly do not love. I've thought about gossip and the way I talk to myself in my head. I think about how my face moves and how it makes people feel and I wonder, when I do nothing at all, how my energy affects things around me. In all the places we've been I try to smile at strangers and buy small tokens from locals. I eat more vegetables than I do meat, though that's likely a selfish endeavour as the quality is questionable at-best in these parts.  I move politely through other people's neighbourhoods and I've drawn the line at being pushed or pulled about town in a rickshaw propelled manually by a human. Because that just seems a bit colonial, no?

Siem Reap, Cambodia is a very sweet-natured place. After a month in Thailand, it felt softer and kinder, more approachable than the towns and cities we'd just visited. My shoulders relaxed and I felt at-ease for the first time in a while. I didn't feel the need to watch my back or my pockets and I smiled at strangers like we had back in Bali or I do when I wander the streets of Toronto. Just a passing smile, without the promise of a purchase or a transaction otherwise. I immediately knew this was a place I'd like.

As one must, we earmarked a day to see Siem Reap's famous temples. We hired a tuktuk for a reasonable price and Mr. Wan said we'd get started in the morning. If you know me, you won't be surprised to hear I loathe group tours and would always prefer to go it alone, so this was perfect. Mr. Wan would get us there (a quaint motorcycle-powered tuktuk 25 minutes outside of town) and provide informative tidbits, but we'd otherwise wander the landmarks on our own. In the morning we'd visit the smaller temples (Bayon, Baphuon, and Ta Prohm) before taking a break at the height of the day's heat, then head to Angkor Wat, the world's largest religious monument, in the late-afternoon when it was a bit cooler.

I'd heard a lot about Angkor Wat's affect on people. It was often likened to other vast wonders, like the Great Wall of China or Stonehenge. I wondered how it might impact me. As we purchased our tickets at one of a dozen wickets, my cynicism began to creep in. As we shelled-out $50 and joined a cross-parking-lot pilgrimage, I fell deeper into my disenchanted spiral. I read later that Angkor was now privately-owned by a company who rents it from the Cambodian government. Only 28% of ticket revenue actually goes back into the restoration and preservation of the site. I would estimate there were about 600 people at the temple in the hour we were there. And this was May: Cambodia's hottest month and lowest in terms of tourism, so imagine how much revenue is generated in the high season.

I always find it bizarre when people cheerfully pose for photos in front of monuments or sites, as if their presence in the photo somehow makes it more interesting. I mean, these places were built by thousands of slaves nearly 1000 years ago, they are literally crumbling under their own historical significance, and yet a man in an "I  Cambodia" t-shirt thinks his mug makes the shot.  Visiting war memorials or places moored by decades of horror is next-level mind boggling. I'm not sure flipping over a photo to read "Mom at the Killing Fields, 2013" is particularly necessary, and her wide smile and flippant pose verges on apologism.

As peace signs spread like wild fire, hoards of tourists scurried through the ruins behind a bellowing guide, his voice amplified by a squawking speaker box on his hip. Between these silly groups and the locals selling t-shirts inside the temples, the potential for a religious experience seemed laughable now. Then I began to notice how people had scraped their names into the sandstone walls or scrawled something in marker across an ancient bas relief carving. And I was done.

I wondered why I was here and began to feel like a major asshole. I, an agnostic at-best, was part of the problem, traipsing around these hallowed grounds which should be left to those who worship them. I felt terribly for the few people who had come from far and wide to quietly experience this place, the Mecca of Buddhism. On the rare occasion that I visit a Christian church, I stand quietly, careful not to disrupt the environment or the people there. But these temples have signs and arrows forcing you on a track, "This Way Please", and suddenly you find yourself standing, disrespectfully, at an altar or in an inner sanctum once reserved for only the most-devoted. Angkor Wat will be the last temple I visit and has changed the way I view all religious monuments. I will happily respect them from afar, but won't desecrate them by schlepping through, uninvited. 









A NOTE ON PHOTOGRAPHY

Photography has been an interesting stumbling block. I've mentioned I haven't been taking many photos, aside from those on my phone. Trips we've taken in the past have been fairly photography-focused, even buying people's cooperation with small toys or gifts, a bit of cash. I thought my impact could be balanced by giving something in return. But it hasn't felt right on this trip. Although I see dozens of faces each day that I'd love to photograph, I just don't want to risk making them feel uncomfortable, or, worse, commodified. I don't want to be the person who makes somebody feel like a zoo animal.

When we were in Bali we pulled over to the side of the road where a craggy-faced elder sat weaving a basket. I gestured with my camera and she waved her hands angrily, deeply offended. I attempted an apology and as we drove away I hoped she wouldn't feel shitty about that moment for very long. But if she's anything like me, she still does.



BULLETPOINTS

1) Cambodia has been welcoming tourism for less time and seem less over it than their Thai neighbours to the west. Prices are less inflated and haggling is less aggressive. More often than not, the price quoted is reasonable and doesn't require pushback. Which is a nice change.

2) Cambodia is the hottest place I've ever been in my entire life. Siem Reap is inland and in May (the hottest month) temperatures often exceed 50°C when factoring the humidity. 

3) Locals are very concerned with maintaining a light-as-possible skin tone and often wear many layers of clothing to block the sun. (Sunscreen is too expensive.) We cannot understand how people manage to wear jeans, socks, hoodies, scarves, face masks, and even gloves during the day. We could hardly stand a tank top and shorts in the extreme heat. It's an important status symbol: People with darker skin work outdoors and are often tradespeople or labourers. Light skin shows that you don't have to work in those environments. Long fingernails, even on men, work to prove the same point. 

4) Further to this, whitening creams are very common in this part of the world. It is said that 4 out of 10 women use them. Large international brands (who, ironically, tout individuality, self-esteem, and personal definitions of beauty in the West) provide all sorts of creams that work to lighten skin by inhibiting melanin production or with acids that exfoliate many layers of skin, revealing lighter skin beneath. Olay's most-popular product is called White Radiance and L'Oréal markets a line called White Perfect. A brand I didn't recognize (Franch) advertises their Shower Crème with a model who's face transitions from about a Halle Berry to a Jennifer Lopez in four easy steps. Another brand I didn't recognize (Lux) produces White Impress, with the tag line "Make the first impressions the ones that last." Yikes. 

5) The US dollar is the main currency in Cambodia. ATMs dispense large denominations of perfectly crisp, previously-uncirculated bills. It's a deeply-debated topic in the government, with many officials likening the proliferation of American currency to treachery. The dollar was adopted largely due to long-standing government corruption, distrust, and general terror during a half-century of turmoil in Cambodia. It was seen as stable where the riel was not. It's really fascinating and I encourage you to give it a Google.


CURRENTLY
LOCATION: Amwaj, Manama, The Kingdom of Bahrain
DATE AND TIME: Sunday, June 16, 2013 11:00AM Arabia Standard Time/Sunday, June 16, 2013 4:00AM EST


10-SECOND REVIEWS 

Location: Siem Reap, Siem Reap Province, Cambodia

Unlike the other countries we visited, we stayed for two weeks in just one town. On a trip like this, transferring between places really cuts into the budget. The longer you stay in one place, the less money you tend to spend. So, because we loved Siem Reap so much, we decided to hunker down and stay in one place a while. While two weeks might be a bit long for the average traveler, we found it super relaxing and comfortable. We rented bikes for $1 a day and rode out to the countryside every day after breakfast, seeing local communities and expanding our view of Siem Reap. 

Accommodation: Memoire D'Angkor 
Our first stop in Siem Reap was a lovely, quite-formal hotel in the centre of town. The service was great and our room was upgraded upon arrival to a giant suite. The hotel offered free laundry, which was a major perk and a nice touch. A great pool and very fast wifi.

When we decided to extend our stay in Siem Reap, we switched hotels to save a few dollars per night. The Golden Banana is a great spot with good service, nice pools and well-appointed, charming rooms. The food is good, too. It's advertised as gay-friendly and is gay-owned. There is a bit of confusion as several properties, all called the Golden Banana, were once one resort, but looks like they've been divided up. The link above takes you to the property we chose.

Food: There is no shortage of restaurants and bars in Siem Reap. Amok is my favourite local dish, a curry (often of freshwater fish) in coconut milk. Vaguely like an Indian curry, but with different spices.
For wine: The Station Wine Bar. Great prices, good selection. A nightly cabaret show is fun.
For western food: The Sun. Great chicken burgers and other familiar eats when you're feeling tired of local fare.
For cheap drinks: Viva is a Mexican restaurant with super cheap beer and $1.50 frozen margaritas. In the heart of the Old Market, it's a charming area and an easy place to kill an afternoon over serviceable $1 fish tacos and drinks.
For dinner: The Triangle Restaurant is an outdoor BBQ. Fresh meat, seafood, and grilled vegetables. Good food, great prices, fast service. A nice place to watch the world go by.



 RATING OUT OF FOUR BASED ON OVERALL EXPERIENCE.




Monday, June 10, 2013











After almost three months in South East Asia, we're moving on. At the mid-point in our trip we'll land, appropriately, in the Middle East. Our original plan was to head west, in geographical order, landing in India next. We knew it would be hot, but thought we could handle it; Cambodia and Vietnam have proven otherwise. It's prohibitively hot. So hot that entire days are lost to the comfort of an air conditioned hotel room. Where 45 minutes outdoors is too much. Where the two-minute walk from the sidewalk to one's room can soak your necessarily spaghetii-strapped tank top. And apparently India is even hotter. 

So, we'll end Eat, Gay, Love in India, pushing it to the back of the pack in October, when the temperatures (and monsoons) ease-up and when we can enjoy all it has to offer. Skipping over it now means landing in the Middle East in the middle of June, which is equally crazy, but here's what: Most everything in Dubai and Bahrain takes place indoors anyway. Air conditioning is a way of life there, and we won't be expected to schlep through a marketplace in the middle of the day. We can shamelessly hide indoors, venturing outside when the desert air cools at night. 

Our friend Joseph moved to Bahrain a couple of years ago to pursue his work in the film industry. He's made a great life there and we're excited to visit. We probably wouldn't normally include a stop in the Middle East if it weren't for him living there. It's a tough place to navigate without an insider, so we're looking forward to that. While it's not known for being gay friendly, Joe tells us the sordid details of the gay underworld, and it sounds rather scandalous. 

And so a quick trip will include the bright lights and gargantuan towers of Dubai and a week with Joseph at the seaside in Bahrain. We'll lay fairly low (though I need to see a desert and some camels) before starting the most-intense leg of this trip: Europe. We've become quite accustomed to an incredibly slow pace, meandering through each place leisurely, for a month in many cases. All of that is about to change. With only a week to devote to places like Istanbul, Berlin, Paris, and Barcelona, we'll need to get up early and pack our days full. We can't afford to lose a day to a Real Housewives marathon. (Who am I kidding. If we must, we must!)

A note on blogging: I've found it much more difficult than anticipated to block out time to focus here. In an effort to live the trip instead of document it, most of my writing takes place in the notebook app of my phone, quickly jotting observations or things I'd like to research further. I still haven't taken more than two photos with my real camera, and even shipped extra lenses home last week. I may live to regret that, but schlepping unused items (and paying for them in baggage weight) has proven to be a waste. The memories I'm gathering with my eyeballs, filing neatly in my quite-powerful brain, are worth a million shutter clicks. I have lots to tell you, from the mean streets of Bangkok, to the countryside of Cambodia to the chaos and excitement of Vietnam. Maybe I'll get to it on our rather long flight toward the Middle.


MAP BY PAUL DOTEY, PART OF AN ONGOING SERIES.

CURRENTLY
LOCATION: Hanoi, Vietnam 
DATE AND TIME: Tuesday, June 11, 2013 11:00AM Vietnam Standard Time/Tuesday, June 11, 2013 12:00AM EST





Thursday, May 23, 2013













Something can happen on a trip of this scope. It's a disappointing reality, though should be expected, and I'd warn people plotting a similar trek to consider it in advance: Parts may fall short, may fail altogether. Entire legs of the trip may not live up to a years-long expectation. You might lose a week to bad weather or a month to illness. Just as in regular, ordinary life, shit happens.

And this trip has definitely become real life for us, and aspects have certainly fallen into that category. Just as we've come to expect that real life does not always go as-planned, there, too, will be hiccups as we take this trip around the world.

And our last stop, in large part, was a hiccup. I don't think we did it quite right, or maybe it's just not as great as we had hoped. Thailand is one of those places in the world that people fall in love with. They speak of the kindness of strangers and the beaches and the culture in that dreamy way, their head shaking side-to-side as if ruminating on an old love affair. Our experience fell somewhere below that bleary-eyed infatuation.

After a few days in Singapore, we hoped to start our Thailand adventure on its well-known beaches in Phuket. This may have been our first mistake. Instead of finding white sand and a decent cocktail, we found 20-something partypeople, shitty beer, and the surprise of Motorcycle Week in Patong. It was a nightmare. Hogs blasting by at all hours of the day and night, aggressive massage "therapists" lining the streets, and some truly terrible food. We landed in the Jersey Shore of Thailand, much to our disappointment.

We quickly moved further south, around the Phuket peninsula, getting further and further from this horror. As we did, things got quieter and more palatable. We quite enjoyed the sleepy town of Rawai Beach, its oceanside restaurants charming and the popular (yet not overrun) Nai Harn Beach was fun with giant waves and friendly faces.

Thailand would continue its positive turn as we hopped a ferry and headed toward Koh Phi Phi, a beautiful island in the middle of the Andaman Sea. It was hard-hit by the 2005 tsunami, and has worked hard to rebuild. There's a softness to the people who live and work here, their smiles more genuine than in previous stops. We slept in a hut near the beach, forgoing air conditioning in the interest of budget, and even shared a bathroom. We swam in near-empty waters and ate our bodyweight in green curry. It finally felt like we were somewhere. And things would continue this way as we traveled on to Railay Beach, a geologically-amazing coastal town in the Krabi Province and our final beach-destination, Koh Samui, known for its ultra-charming airport.

But we'd really fall in love with this country when we left its coastline behind and hit Bangkok. To our surprise, this grimy South East Asian hub would quickly charm us. In an upcoming entry I'll tell you how I got involved in the Thai sex trade.







A selection of images from the better legs of our Thailand trip;  Rawai Beach, Koh Phi Phi, and Railay Beach.




BULLETPOINTS

1) Wifi passwords in restaurants and at hotels often have something to do with Bob Marley or James Bond. "007" is frequent. If you're going to be in Thailand for a month or more, consider buying into the universal wifi (think Boingo) offered in most public places. True Wifi came up in every place we visited and might be worth looking into before an extended trip in the region.

2) There are 7-11 stores on every corner. Literally. One intersection had three 7-11 stores. They smell exactly like they do at home: Hot dogs and floor cleaner. 

3) Much like other tropical places, children are awake until at least midnight, sometimes even selling sunglasses or other junk along busy streets. Because it's so hot during the day, even older kids sleep through much of the afternoon, then stay up into the night. It's disconcerting at first but makes sense.

4) Mopeds and motorbikes are readily available, as they were in Bali. Expect to pay a bit more per day to rent. About $5 a day, and cheaper if you rent it for longer periods. Tuktuks and taxis are also very cost-effective. 

5) Thailand's obsession with their King makes a gay man's adoration of Lady Di look lacklustre at-best. His portrait hangs in every single home and business in the country and he is on every denomination of money.

6) Soft Rock covers of the Western world's biggest hits play all day, everywhere. Lady Gaga bangers crooned sheepishly or Katy Perry's greatest hits, slowed waaaay down. It's entertaining and impossible to get out of your head.

7) Restaurant service is very bizarre in this part of the world. They don't seem to put much value in the ceremony of the meal, even locals seem to eat on the go or often alone, perching with a tray of food wherever they might be when mealtime hits. Food ordered in restaurants rarely arrives at the table simultaneously, so we'd often watch the other person eat before getting our own plate. We found the same to be true in Bali. You get used to it.


CURRENTLY
LOCATION: Siem Reap, Siam Reap Province, Cambodia
DATE AND TIME: Friday, May 23, 2013 9:00AM Cambodian Standard Time/Thursday, May 22, 2013 10:00PM EST


10-SECOND REVIEWS 

PART ONE
Location: Patong Beach, Phuket, Thailand
Accommodation: The Album Hotel 
Patong Beach was one of the worst places I've ever been in my life. And I've been to Orlando. Touristy in the worst way (spring break-y horrible) and it happened to also be Motorcycle Week. I can't even tell you. Just loud, awful motorcycles blasting through town all day and night. The hotel itself was quite nice and well-run, with good-sized rooms. It is small and "boutique" with a great lobby space and an intimate feel. I'd recommend it if I recommended you go anywhere near Patong, which I do not.
Food: Nothing of note.
Tips: Just don't go here under any circumstances.

Location: Karon Beach, Phuket, Thailand
Accommodation: The Tropical Serene Resort 
A considerable step in the right direction, though the hotel itself was a bit janky and stale. Until we escaped Phuket Province altogether, each move was a reaction to the last, a slow effort in quietly getting out of there. We were able to get some peace and quiet, enjoy the pool, and recover from the first few days in Thailand. But I wouldn't necessarily recommend it. 
Food: Just to the east of our hotel there were a strip of very cheap, very tasty restaurants that were off the beaten path. If you head toward the ocean, restaurants are much more expensive and less charming.

Location: Rawai Beach, Phuket, Thailand
Accommodation: Phuket Sea Resort 
This hotel was quite nice and very quiet. Two great pools and a good breakfast. The rooms were large, the wifi was fast, and the service was friendly. 
Food: The restaurants at Nai Harn Beach were all similar and tasty for a quick lunch while relaxing on the sand.
Tips: Definitely rent a moped in this town as the beach is at least a 5-minute drive from the main hotel areas. You'll save a ton on tuktuk rides and be able to come and go as you please.



PART TWO
Location: Koh Phi Phi, Krabi, Thailand
Accommodation: The Viking Nature Resort 
Things started to turn around when we left Phuket Province and made our way to Krabi, which includes Koh Phi Phi. We took the opportunity to really save budget by staying in an air-conditioning-less hut at the Viking Nature Resort. For $30 including breakfast this was the cheapest place to be. It was barely bigger than the bed, with a light and a porch with hammock. We even shared our bathroom, which was in another hut a few meters away. By our standards, this was roughing it, but for three days it was charming and comfortable. A powerful fan kept us cool and a mosquito net kept us protected. The common spaces of the hotel were great and very social, the beach was private and lovely, and the wifi was good, though not super strong in the huts.
Food: We ate many of our meals right at the hotel, which is a rarity for us. Because it's removed from the main tourist strip, it requires a boat ride or a trek across the island. Luckily the food was quite good, though the service was slow and careless; but the staff were sweet. Each night at 7:30pm they offer a free tasting of some menu items in the lobby, in an effort to bring people around. I thought this was a nice touch and a great way to check out a dish without committing to it.

Location: Railay Beach, Krabi, Thailand
Accommodation: Sunrise Tropical Resort 
We made our way back to mainland with a stop at Railay Beach. The peninsula has two sides, connected by pathways cutting across. We chose to stay on the cheaper side, which doesn't have swimmable waterfront. Because the area is so small, we opted to save cash and walk to the good beach when we wanted it. 
Food: We had some tasty meals at cheap and cheerful locals. Mama's offered some comforting spaghetti Bolognese when I was feeling tired of curry. Cocktails and beer were cheap in most places. 




PART THREE
Location: Koh Samui, Surat Thani, Thailand
Accommodation: Baan Hin Sai Resort 
This hotel was quite lovely, with great pools, and good service. It was located away from the main tourist area, which was within 5 minutes on our rented moped. We always prefer to stay away from the hubbub and can often save money this way, too. The included breakfast was good but the wifi was spotty, not working at all in the rooms. 
Food: We had one memorable meal at a place called The Chef in Chaweng Beach. It was quiet and the food was really great and well-priced. A lunch at The Library (known for its blood-red swimming pool) was good, but overpriced. We met friends who were staying at the Akaryn Resort and joined them for lunch one day, which was truly terrific, but out of our price range. They generously took care of the bill, which was a nice treat on this trip.
Tips: This island really lends itself to renting a scooter. There's a lot to see and entire days can be spent cruising around. It's also larger than other areas we visited, so was nice to be able to get around without the need for taxis or tuktuks.




 RATING OUT OF FOUR BASED ON OVERALL EXPERIENCE.




Wednesday, May 22, 2013











Traveling in this day and age is something of a miracle. We often wonder how people did it twenty (even ten!) years ago. The once-valuable Travel Agent has been replaced by our own fruitful internet searches, booking everything from flights to rooms to breakfast with just a few clicks. All hotels have websites, even the most budget-consicious or remote. It's more and more rare, the sighing of a 40-something backpacker carrying a relic of the past: a well-worn and dog-eared Lonely Planet book. Now we clack around on WikiTravel, noting departure taxes and visa information without the need to schlep weighty tomes. And we can fire off a quick hello text through our wifi-enabled iPhones instead of putting pen to postcard, the instant antidote to a pang of homesickness. 

Yesterday a friend checked-in, asking a string of thoughtful questions. One in particular had me thinking. She asked about our daily routine, whether or not we've built-in any alone time, and how we've adapted to sharing this experience. Each day is different, I said, with very little alone time. In many ways we're spending each day in perfect unison, every moment shared entirely. We don't need to say much when a tiny Cambodian toddler grins at us from a swinging hammock, we simply take it in. The furthest we get from each other is the couple hundred meters between our rented bicycles, the one without gears lagging back. I can calculate our distance by the lapse in our Hello!'s with passing strangers. And so there's almost nothing to talk about. We lack common domestic interactions like, "How was your day?" When we put our heads down at night, pillow talk has all but vanished.  

I hadn't thought of it, exactly, but suddenly I wondered what it meant. Were we losing track of a daily exercise we once enjoyed? Were we forgetting to ask certain questions, taking our shared experience for granted? But I realize I've come to look for Jeff's unique experience in the ultra-specific. "How is that beer?" "Are those noodles cooked well?" "Does your butt hurt from that bike seat?" Because it's important to know how this trip feels to him, how these moments affect him. The most mundane and the others, too. 

Riding bikes in Cambodia. 

CURRENTLY
LOCATION: Siem Reap, Siem Reap Province, Cambodia
DATE AND TIME: Thursday, May 23, 2013 10:59AM Cambodian Standard Time/Wednesday, May 22, 2013 11:59PM EST